Goals

"I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

Last Friday, Sam, Liz and I went on a little family outing to Lufkin. Liz needed to get some school clothes, I needed to go to Academy, and we all needed to just go out and play together. So we did. While she and Sam were in JC Penney looking at clothes, I wandered over to Borders bookstore. I love to read, but honestly, I think I love books more than I love reading. Does that make sense? I mean, I read a lot, but more than reading, I just love books. Anyway, I found one called "50/50" by a guy named Dean Karnazes. This guy is ridiculous. Men's Health called him the fittest man alive. He's the guy who ran on a tread mill over Times Square for 24 hours a few years ago. He's also run many "ultramarathons", races of 50, 100, or even more miles. The book I bought is the story of when he ran 50 marathons, in 50 states, on 50 consecutive days. Like I said- ridiculous.

At the end of last year, I became a runner. I did it for a few days, and quickly got hooked. It's fun, it's invigorating, it's great to finish and be able to say, "Man- I really just ran ___ miles." I did really well for about 4 months. I was running 3-5 days a week, doing as many as 6 miles, and even entered a 5k in January. My time wasn't great, but I did it. I accomplished a goal. It was awesome. But then, life happened.

In mid-February, we had a church retreat that took a lot of planning and preparation, so I missed a week of running. After that, my running partner was out of town, so 1 week became 2. 2 weeks quickly turned into 3, and now it's been 7 months since I last ran regularly. I hate that about myself. That's my pesonality. Make a commitment, do well with it for a while, lose motivation, just quit doing it.

Before we went to Lufkin, I had already decided that this week I was going to start running again, so when I found that book, it was just a little extra motivation. Sunday night, I sat down and typed out my running schedule. I printed it out and hung it on the fridge. Yesterday was day one, and I did it. Today's an off day, but tomorrow I'll be at the park again. I'm typing this post for two reasons. 1- accountability. I figure if I'm telling people that I'm running again, I've gotta do it. I have a goal and a date written on my schedule. On __/__/2010, I'm going to run __________. (I promise it's written on my schedule, I'll share it with you later.) 2- maybe my motivation will motivate someone else. Maybe you're like me- you know what you want to do, you just don't really feel like doing it. Well, I'm doing it, so you should, too. If my chunky rear can wake up early and go running, surely you can do whatever it is that you've been thinking about doing. Maybe it's not health related. Maybe your goals involve relationships, money, hobbies, whatever. Seriously, if I can do it, anybody can. I'm the world's worst at this sort of thing. In the immortal words of Rob Schneider, you can do it.

I'll update soon,
Jared

Dean Karnazes's website:
www.ultramarathonman.com
Other sites I'm reading a lot:
www.runnersworld.com
www.active.com

Your Faith: Compartmentalized or Complete?

The past several weeks Jared has been preaching a sermon series challenging us to evaluate what kind of faith we have. Last weeks sermon was titled Your faith: convenient or consistent? Yesterday's sermon was titled Your faith: compartmentalized or complete? Just like a waffle has different compartments sometimes we put our faith in the same arena. I'm afraid I'm guilty of this myself. Sometimes I'm only willing to give the Lord certain areas of my life. But the real convicting part of the whole sermon was boiled down into this one statement: "If you want God to bless ______, then you have to be willing to give God ________." We can't hold back parts of our lives from God. When God saved you and I, He saved us completely. Not just the cleaned up, Sunday morning best part. EVERY part. Since getting our hospital bills then having to get my wisdom teeth taken out and not being at work for the last 6 weeks, I've really been stressed out about our finances. But the Lord really showed me that I wasn't giving Him control. I was trying to figure things out on my own instead of trusting that God would provide. He does and He did.

Whatever is going on in your life, ask yourself the same thing. Am I giving this area to God or am I holding onto it for myself. God saved you through and through. I pray that would be an encouragement to you today.

~Elizabeth

I really should post more...

Liz has kind of taken over as the predominant blogger here...sorry about that. I've tried several times in recent weeks to sit down and post something, but I always feel like I don't have anything interesting to say. But I'll do my best to finish this one and actually post it for public viewing.

On the homefront, things are great. Sam is a good kid, and seriously has become the star of our house. We just love that boy. We spend a lot of time hanging out with him, playing with him, taking pictures of him. He's just great. And I think we've adjusted pretty well to the parenting thing. It definitely has been an adjustment, but we're doing really well. I like being a daddy more than I ever could have imagined I would.

In church world, things are also going really well. Peachtree is definitely not the same church it was when we first came here two years ago. Tonight, we had a get-together to kick off something we're doing called "100 Days of Praying for Your Marriage." We bought a bunch of couple's devotional books, and promoted it like crazy for about two months. We announced it every week, sent out invitations, made phone calls. Today, Cindy (our church secretary) and I decorated our fellowship hall. We bought a wedding cake, made punch, had candles, flowers- it really looked like a wedding reception. The whole thing is just to get married couples praying together. I honestly didn't know how many people would come. I knew we had done everything we could to advertise it, but you never know with this kind of stuff. Then, at the office today, I found out about several couples who definitely weren't coming. Some were out of town, some were sick, some were working, at least one said "We've been married a long time, we're doing ok. I don't think we need to go to that." So that was a little discouraging. 6:30 rolled around, and we had 20 couples there, which was way more than I expected. I honestly would have been very happy with 10 couples, but 20? I was through the roof. I know at some churches, 20 couples would be a small turnout, but we average about 100 people in Sunday morning worship at Peachtree, so to have 20 of our married couples show up and commit to 100 days of praying together- that's a huge deal. I am confident this is going to have a huge impact in our church, as well as in the marriages of those 40 people.

The lesson I learned? Expect great things from God. Emphasis on great. I am so guilty of expecting too little of God. I think sometimes I forget that He created the universe, and holds history in His hands. He spoke light and water and creation into being- and I expect 10 couples. He not only exceeded my expectations, He doubled them. So...

Expect great things from God,
Jared

Stud Muffin!

Hello!!! How cute is he? I know...I call him my stud muffin. He looks so happy here. That's because he really is happy. I can't believe how blessed we are to have such a happy baby. Sam is great. He is happy most all the time. The only time he gets fussy is when it's time to eat. Which who can blame him then? I get fussy when I'm hungry too. Sam has learned how to fall asleep on his own...thank you Jesus! He takes great naps and can sleep through most anything...I know this because I vaccuumed all around him while he was napping and he didn't budge. Now to just get that sleeping through the night down...He only wakes up once so I probably shouldn't be complaining. This morning we decided to let him spend some time hanging out in mommy and daddy's big bed and he loved it. We snuggled with him and we all went back to sleep. I'd be okay doing that every Saturday morning. It was a great day. I'm just so blessed to have such a happy boy. I was in Wal-Mart today and saw a baby throwing a HUGE fit...I looked at Sam and gave him a "talkin' to" right then and there. I know he's going to continue to be a sweet boy. It helps that I told him we would leave Wal-Mart immediately if he started that! I wanted to share this picture b/c I remember when I bought that onesie. It was the first outfit I bought after we found out we were having a boy. I can't believe he's already wearing it...it's 3 months! He's growing so fast!

~Elizabeth

Hollier Happenings

Finally!!! We finally caught Sam's smile on camera! The picture just doesn't do him any justice. His whole body gets into his smiles...it's the best thing ever.

Another photo shoot! Once we finally got him to smile for the camera we didn't want to stop taking pictures! It's taken us forever to catch him smiling for the camera

We're working on that smile here too! Daddy loves to make him smile

Our first outing to Wal-Mart. The Baby Bjorn rocked...although it made my back feel like I was pregnant again. Sam had a good time, and so did I. We washed our hands as soon as we got to the car though. Who knew he was already such a stud?

Can you see my excitement?! I was so excited to get out of the house with Sam! Wal-Mart here we come!!!

Replay

Replay is a blessing and a curse at the same time. Replay is what I do when I want and should be sleeping. Replay is when I say the things that I never have the guts to say in real life, and its what keeps my mouth shut. Last night and well into the morning hours replay was going on in my head...again. Replay is what my brain does when I want to go to sleep and can't. My brain replays the events of the day over and over. I think about what was said and done, what I should or shouldn't have said and done, and maybe even what I would do differently had I actually been given the opportunity to do it all over again. It's really quite exhausting, but at the same time refreshing. On the one hand, I'd rather be sleeping...seriously. On the other hand, it's a good time of personal reflection. I learn from experience...sadly. Far too often I stick my foot into my mouth instead of taking the time to actually think before I speak. But a lot of times (in my replay) I say things that I couldn't, shouldn't, or wouldn't say in real life. One of the best pieces of advice I recieved shortly after becoming a pastor's wife was, "You can't fight your husbands battles for him. That's the Lord's job." Very true. However, in my replay time...I'm a fighting warrior! I speak my mind and tell it like it is. In reality, that NEVER happens. Some would say I'm passive to a fault...I don't think so, but some would. During my replay last night I realized something...or rather the Lord showed me something. I so badly want to fight battles and defend my husband's honor at times, but I shouldn't...and can't. Though my intentions are good and downright noble I think...that's not my job. The Lord is his defender, and for me to step in on the Lord just goes to show my impatience. Grr...sometimes feeling conviction is so...hard. I might be the most impatient person in the world. I certainly know the areas that I need to work on with the Lord's help...it's patience. That's the hardest thing in the world to have you know? I have to realize that the Lord will defend HIS people who are doing HIS work in HIS OWN TIMING! For me to step in is telling the Lord, once again, that I can do a better job at running our lives than He can...and He certainly can handle it, and I can't.

I don't know who all reads our blog...but I bet at least one other person reading this does a replay like I do. I want to encourage you to see your replay moments as times when the Lord is trying to tell you something. Unfortunately I'm afraid the only time I am quiet and still enough to listen is when I'm trying to go to sleep.

Lord, help me to be still and listen. I know I can't do anything of worth without Your help and guidance. I need You, Jesus.

May you have a replay tonight.
~Elizabeth

Happy Birthday Sam!

I can't believe that Sam is already a month old today! The time has literally flown by. Everyday is a new adventure in our lives. Yesterday Sam rolled from his back to his side! Quite sure it was an accident and he hasn't done it again, but it was enough for me to cheer for. We're going to celebrate his birthday by taking a trip to Lufkin to Academy and Babies 'R Us. I know...we so know how to party right? Crazy how having a little baby changes things. Instead of going to Old Navy or Target we're going to Babies 'R Us to buy bottle nipples. Wow. If that doesn't make me feel like a grown up I don't know what will. I wouldn't trade my life for anything.

Our pictures that we went to take should be in next Tuesday. I'll post a couple for you guys to see. If you would like to see them all just send me a message and I can show you how you view them online. She did an absolutely amazing job! We had a very difficult time choosing which ones. I wish we could've bought them all! Well, that's it for now. Hope everyones having a smashing day.

~Elizabeth

Nana and my "kinda sorta" twin sister's visit

My cute little man...that outfit btw doesn't fit him anymore! He wore it once, b/c I loved it but his legs wouldn't fully extend in it! Bummer.



Nana and Sam...he got LOTS of loving from her!



Aunt Lissa (my kinda sorta twin) and Sam...I think Sam was trying to figure out how our voices all sound alike. Kinda confusing at first!

My mom (Nana) and my sister (Aunt Lissa) came to visit on Monday. We had such a fun time visiting and laughing and drinking coffee...lots of coffee. That is usually what happens when we get together. It was good just getting to hang out with them and to have some extra hands around here. If they could stay all the time I would get so much stuff done around the house! Melissa took care of Sam, Mom did laundry, and I was able to decorate the house for Fall (my favorite season of year). Other highlights from the visit included teaching my mom the importance of "googling"(I promised her it would change her life forever!), going for walks at the park, and, of course, a Casa 'Ole trip. When we got to Casa 'Ole the waiter looked at Melissa then me and said "Are you guys like kinda sorta twins?" We just laughed. One because she's two years older than me and we don't think we look anything alike. Two because how in the world are you "kinda sorta" twins? You either are or you're not. We had several good laughs at that poor waiters expense that day. The visit ended the next day but not without me feeling rested and full of fun stories. Besides that, they both got to love on Sam. When we were growing up we had this giant children's Bible stories book that my aunt bought when Melissa was young. I remember reading that giant book every night just about. When I found out I was pregnant, Melissa bought Sam his own children's Bible stories that wasn't as giant as ours growing up (thankfully) and she was able to read to Sam his daily Bible story. That was the highlight of the visit for me. She read to him about the tower of Babel and how the people had become selfish again. The moral of the story...(in Aunt Lissa's words) don't be selfish...try to be like Jesus. So true, so true.

We also got our new stove picked up and delivered...thanks to Paul for helping deliver it (who pays delivery when you have friends and a dolly, right?). Our stove broke and we've been without one for about 2 weeks now. We finally got a new one which was a huge praise to begin with. Granted I hate having to actually take money out of our savings, I was glad it was there so that we could purchase a new stove. While the boys were hauling off the old one and picking up the new one, I was able to clean and decorate for fall. Now I have to say, out of all the seasons, fall is my absolute favorite! I love the colors, the coolness, and for us the lack of mosquitos. By the time Jared got back the living room and kitchen were decked out with fall decor. Jared tells me it's still summer though. I don't care. Maybe if I get our house ready for fall, then it will actually come sooner. Can't blame a girl for trying right?

1 Year Ago Today

It was a year ago today that my dad, Wallace Joseph Hollier, Jr, passed away after a long battle with cancer. I know a lot of people and a lot of obituaries say that someone "lost their battle with cancer," but I don't see it that way. When you end up where Dad is, and you're experiencing the things he's experiencing now, it doesn't seem right to call it a loss...

There is literally not a day that goes by that I don't think about Dad. Right after he passed away, someone told me that losing a parent is like losing a leg- you never really get over it, you just learn to get by without it- and they were exactly right. I'm not "over it," and know that I probably never will be. That would be insulting to Dad- that I "got over it." That I got to a point where I was ok with the fact that he's not around. I'll never be ok with it. It sucks. I hate it. But I would never, ever, wish that he was here instead of where he is now. I know that he's healthy, healed, experiencing the fulness of God's glory. I honestly don't know how anyone could go through the loss of a loved one without the comfort that comes from knowing the Lord.

One of the hardest things is knowing that Dad won't get to see Sam grow up. I don't believe that he's looking down on us from heaven. That's not biblical, or theologically sound. I pray every day for Sam's salvation, and know that they'll meet one day, but it's hard that Sam will never get to play with his PawPaw. That he'll never hear him play Willie Nelson songs in the guitar, or see him turn a chunk of wood into a coffee table or bookshelf. They'll never get to go fishing, or play golf, or wrestle in the living room floor. It won't bother Sam- he'll never know anything different. I never knew my Grandpa Hollier; he died the year before I was born, but I always liked hearing about him. Just the other day, we were at my Aunt Polly's house (Dad's sister) eating a big BBQ lunch, and they said, "Remember what Daddy used to say? 'I wonder what the poor folks are eating...'" I like hearing those stories about Grandpa Hollier, and hope that Sam will like to hear about his PawPaw, too.

There are a lot of men in my life that I look up to and respect. The Lord has surrounded me with men who encourage me, help me, answer my questions about fatherhood, home repair, how to cook a steak- all those things I would've called Dad for. I am eternally grateful for those men, but I'll only ever have one Daddy. He was the guy who called me Poot, and I have no idea why. He coached my little league teams, even though I stunk. He taught me how to bait a hook, clean a fish, hit a driver, play a country song, and be an honorable man. He showed me what it looked like to work hard, be honest, love family, and submit to the Lord. He wasn't perfect- far from it, and he'd be the first to admit it. But Dad knew what it meant to love his family, and the Lord. I know I'll see him again one day, and I'm looking forward to it, but I sure do miss him...

Go tell your family you love them

-Jared

Desperation

You know you're exhausted when you don't hear your baby crying in the middle of the night and your husband can't wake you up. Oops. Normally on Saturday nights I get up with Sam for all of his feedings since Jared has to work on Sundays. I know that Sundays are a big day for him, so I try and keep things really quiet so he can get good rest at least that one night of the week. I didn't do such a great job last night. Our little Sam, I'm afraid, has got his nights and days mixed up and thus causes mommy and daddy to not get any sleep between the hours of 10-2 usually. By two o'clock he's usually getting things figured out, but by then we are already exhausted enough that we're falling asleep standing up...practically. But tonight, during one of those moments where I was fighting sleep and so was Sam the Lord revealed some really amazing truths to me.

About 11 o'clock Sam wakes up...again. He's not hungry, dirty, etc. The list goes on. He's just fussy I guess. I tried to let him "cry it out"...which is the worst feeling in the world. After what I felt was long enough, I picked Sam up and began to try and console him. I did everything in my power to make him feel better and nothing worked. NOTHING. We rocked. We sang. We burped. "We" did everything mommy could possibly imagine to make him go back to sleep and stop fussing. By midnight, Sam was still awake...and "fussing" to say the least. Finally, I make my way into the living room and just about in tears I sit down in the glider and tell Sam (out loud in one of those quiver voices right before you start to bawl your eyes out) that I had done everything I knew to do and that I couldn't do anything else. I had nothing left to give him, so I guess he was just going to have to keep crying. After I get through with my whole spill, I look down and what do I see? My son... sleeping in my arms. SLEEPING! AMAZING. Who knew me pouring my soul out would be so soothing to him.

As I watched him sleep, the Lord revealed a lot about the relationship that He desires to have with me. When I realized that I couldn't do it on my own, when I was honest with where I stood with Sam, he finally went to sleep. And I was very happy about that. But the same is true for God. He wants us to come into a place where we realize that we can't do this thing called life without Him. When we finally give up trying things our way, realize that we have nothing to give, then He can begin to work. In the same way that I had desperation to figure out what was wrong with Sam and wanting so bad for someone to tell me what to do, God wants us to have that desperation and need for Him. He wants us to rely on Him for all our cares, worries, fears...everything. In that moment, when I felt like I had nothing left to give, God gave me a little glimpse inside His heart.

I'm praying that I would realize more each day how much I need God for everything. There is no way I can be a godly wife, mommy, teacher...whatever without His help. I hope you realize how much you need Him too. He's always waiting for you if you'll just call on Him.

~Elizabeth

Pondering Moments

So life, believe it or not, is starting to get back to normal for us. Now that things are starting to get on somewhat of a predictable routine, I've tried to get back to reading again. Notice I said tried. Now everyone knows that I'm not a big reader...it's no secret. Before I had Sam I would always tell Jared, "Reading makes me sleepy" or "Reading makes my eyes hurt". He would just laugh and say it's because I wasn't used to reading a lot. He can sit for hours on end and read...he does it. He actually reads for enjoyment not just for personal growth. Crazy, I know. Since having Sam, it's been a whole new level of tired....I just thought reading made me sleepy. Now I'm working on it, but I thought I would share some pondering moments that I've had since beginning my reading adventures again. BTW...I'm still reading The Shack and The Principle of the Path..both very good books, but the chapters are SOOO long! I know I'm probably putting myself to shame by airing out my dirty laundry so to speak, but hey...what's the point of blogging if you can't be honest with yourself? Right? So I was reading The Principle of the Path yesterday when BAM!!! It hit me. You know what I'm talking about right? One of those "Ohhhh...I get it" moments. I love those as a teacher. It amazes me how God can give you those moments and everything just kinda comes into somewhat of a new perspective. The whole premise of the book, if you haven't read it, is pretty much that the choices you make determine where you end up. Not bad luck, kharma, God, or whatever else you tell yourself. Choices. The choices you make put you on a path. And that path gets you to a destination. The path, not your intentions, get you there. You don't just wind up bankrupt one day by accident. There were choices you made that got you there. You don't just end up cheating on your spouse by accident. There were choices you made that got you there. Get it? It's all very self explanatory at the core, but so very hard to realize in the moment. Unfortunately, once we've realized we're on a path we don't like sometimes it takes years away from our lives to get us back to where we want to be. Years that have produced heartache, years that cannot be given back. So then the question is: How do we decide on the choices we need to make BEFORE we go down a path that we don't want to, thus ending up at a destination that we never intended to be? Hmm...that's tough isn't it? It's hard to stop and think about every choice you need to make before you make it, isn't it? It is for me at least. I tend to just rush into a lot of decisions and then think about them later. Not good my friends, not good. Here's the kicker..here's what really is the "ohhh...I get it" word. Submission. Yep. I said it. Submission. When you make decisions in your life, who are you going to submit to? Your own will or God's? You've got to trust that God's will, His perfect and divine will, is better than our own ideas about what we think should happen. But then we go back to another question..who do you trust more? When we trust in our own ideas, plans, will...whatever..it's like we're telling God..."Hey, I can take it from here. I got this. I don't need you." Yikes. I know I need God, but I'm afraid that I've said that to God far too many times. "God, I know you said this, but this is what I really want."

I really feel like I'm dealing with all of this so much right now. This whole idea of trust and submission is just stinkin' hard. Let's be honest. We like to do things our own way. We don't want anyone telling us what to do...even God sometimes. It's very easy to justify things in our own heads to defend the choices we make. For example, I would love to be able to stay home with Sam until he starts preschool, but that's not God telling me to do it, it's me just wanting to be home and not at school. In my head I have all my reasons to justify the decision, but at the end of the day when I really get real with God, I know what He wants me to do. He wants me to go back to school in 5 weeks. He wants me to love my kids at school like Jesus. He wants me to be able to help provide for my family so that we can bless others with what He's given us. He wants me to make wise choices. These choices all revolve around submission. Am I going to choose to submit my own will to God or to myself? My head says God, but my heart still has a long way to go. The whole point is to examine the choices we make in life, BEFORE we make them, and ask yourself this question: "Is this the wise thing for me to do right now?" Sometimes, making the wise choice isn't easy or fun. It certainly doesn't give you that warm fuzzy feeling either. Sometimes, you don't even see "results" until way later down the road, but I'd rather end up at a destination that I know God wants me at then a path that He doesn't want me at...even if it does take years to get there. I'd rather be able to work so that I can help save money for my son's college (which is insane to even think about at this point). That's a wise choice that God and I have made together. It's not easy, but I'm submitting to God and choosing to make choices that put me on a path that lead to a destination that is where I know God wants me to be.

Through dirty diapers and spit up, God is still in the business of speaking. I'm so thankful for that. Even in the midst of all that goes on throughout the day at the Hollier household, God is still moving and speaking.

Thank you, Lord.

~Elizabeth