Ramblings of Insomnia

I hate nights (or rather mornings) like this. It's 3:09 am and I'm awake. Blurg. I can't sleep. I have a million things running through my head right now. Here are just a few:

1. I need to tell Jared to remember to ask the doctor about vitamins. I think I've already done this like five times, but I tend to be a little OCD about remembering these things. You see our non-picky infant is now a very picky toddler. How did that happen? I was so sure I wasn't going to let him be a picky eater like I was. So...we are doing a little improvising. Last week, Sam ate his carrots by golly. It was on a hot dog bun, but he ate them nonetheless. So we need to ask the doctor what to do to help bridge the nutritional gap.

2. School. Geez. My room is ready, but mentally I'm not. There are still procedures that I need to write down to practice so that I can remember to do them on Monday! I just don't feel like I've done everything. I feel like there's something HUGE I'm forgetting, but I just can't remember it. And then at the very last minute I'll remember. That's never how my year begins....EVER! So I'm just hoping that it's just the nerves of a new room, new group, and new curriculum (which is really good stuff btw).

3. I need to start working out again. I need to lay off the caffeine (yikes). I wonder when I can walk...before school? After school? I know I'm going to be exhausted, but I need to find the time to do it. Maybe I could get up at 5 and do it. This ramble went on for hours in my mind. My conclusion is to try and wake up at 5, walk for 30 minutes, then leave the house by 6:3o. That is so early, but I like to get to school early when it's calm and quiet. I also like to leave pretty early since there's only so much time to be with Sam before he goes to bed. Which leads into my next point...

4. Sam is STILL not walking! I'm trying not to worry about this, but Satan is having a field day with my mind. I think, as educators at least, we see TOO much. I've seen kids who've come from homes that weren't challenged, where learning wasn't encouraged. So now, I've got this fear in the back of my mind that I don't want Sam to be like that. That's not necessarily a bad thing, until I make it one. I want him to hit every developmental milestone on time, maybe even early! Now that I'm working with GT, I've been searching for signs of giftedness! Good grief! I forget that he is only one (yes that still makes me sad to say). I forget about all the things he IS doing like joking and playing around with us, or being such a problem solver. It's fun to just sit back and watch him figure something out. He really gets it a lot quicker than I would think. Sam starts going to a baby sitter on Monday. She's a friend of ours, but it's still scary since he'll be around other kids. I'm hoping that will help motivate him to walk. But I'm also scared. If you've read my blog at all, you might pick up on the fact that I'm a little control freak. I like to have everything organized, categorized, and even labeled! That's how it is in my brain and in real life sometimes. :) But now that Sam will be with other kids, there's a lot that he will learn that is out of my control (good or bad). I have to admit, that makes me a little nervous. But I know that this is only the beginning. We live in a world that doesn't honor God. There are things that Sam will see and hear that we are going to have to explain and then teach the opposite of. Ready or not, here it comes! I guess I just thought it wouldn't be happening this soon, but it is.

So I guess that's not really THAT much on my mind, right? Haha. I know that the Lord has got us right where he wants. And I also know that He is going to take care of us. I just have to remind my OCD, control freak, type A personality of that sometimes. Blogging helps me to do that. Something about writing (or typing rather) helps put things into perspective. Thank you blogger friends for letting me be real and honest with you about the dealings of my life... big and small. My hope is that something we're dealing with in our family may encourage you. Be blessed.

~Elizabeth