Life is CRAZY now!!!

I haven't posted in FOREVER! Things are still in the adjustment period since I started back to work. I'll be honest...it's the worst. I know that I'm supposed to be here, I know I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, but sometimes (well most of the time) I'm absolutely exhausted. Last week I had a complete meltdown. I mean total meltdown. What was worse is that it was at school. My prideful nature only likes to have these sort of things done at home, but I had just had enough. Nothing was getting done at school b/c I was rushing home to see Sam. Nothing was getting done at home, b/c I was spending time with Sam. I was away from him all day. I didn't want to come home and do chores. And then, when he was finally asleep, I was exhausted too! So for about two weeks my life was just chaotic. Everything just kinda barely got done. When I finally had my meltdown I just told my friends (who I totally lost it in front of) that I couldn't handle it. It was too much. My life just felt out of control.

Out of control.

Hmmm...it wasn't until days later that the Lord really spoke to me about this. When I got freaked out about my life being out of control that must have meant that I had been in control for a long time, and am now struggling b/c I don't have it anymore. Then the Lord whispered this into my ear, "I thought I was supposed to be in control." Ouch. It's a catch 22 when the Lord speaks to me so clearly like that. On the one hand, it hurt. I want to be in control. I am a planner, organizer, extraordinaire. I think that my way, though not always perfect, is a good way. On the other hand, I love to feel the presence of the Lord, even if that means that I am disciplined. The Lord disciplines those He loves, right? So, that's where I am right now. I'm struggling to juggle this whole teacher/mommy/wife/ministry/fill in the blank here. I'm praying that life will eventually get into a routine and I will hopefully get some energy. Sam is doing great adjusting. I think he is getting a little bit of a cold, or just allergies like his mommy. Poor thing for the last couple of days has just been pitiful and fussy. We felt so bad for him, but today he's feeling better, eating better, and napping better too. Praise the Lord.

Life is crazy now! But I still wouldn't trade it for the world. I'll try and post some pics from Halloween. We got some really cute ones!

For now,
~Elizabeth