First of all let me say, I love my son. He is one of the highlights of my life. But...since being home for the summer I've realized something. Sam is a momma's boy. Now, I've known this (and loved this) all along, but he has since become VERY clingy. Clingy to the point that if I'm around he won't do anything without me. I am new at this motherhood thing, and just when I think I've got him figured out he changes! Ha! I'm sure that we'll be doing this all his life, poor thing. Anyway, I just wanted some advice from some mommas out there on how you help get past this. I want him to be able to play by himself some and even go to other people. Right now he's at the point where he's starting to get even a bit anxious about going to other people, which I certainly don't want. I've been praying about this for a while and it seems like it's gotten worse since I've been home from school and even worser still since he's been sick. I'm just asking for advice on what to do...I'll be the first to recognize that I don't have the answers, nor will I ever. But I know that God has blessed many of you with children who may have gone through the same things. So, if you will be so kind as to give me some advice or lead me to someone's advice I would be sooooo appreciative! Thanks a bunch!
~Elizabeth
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Hi Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteExperts (not me) will tell you that kids go through phases of insecurity...meaning it will happen periodically during his early childhood. I have to agree with the experts...my T is going through one right now...it hurts my heart too!
My suggestion for you would be to set up a playpen, put Sam in it for a few minutes, stay where he can see or at least hear you, and let him play on his own. If he cries, reassure him you are nearby.
You might also try to leave him on a scheduled day for a few hours each week...even if it is just a trip to WM. Talk to him ahead of time (they understand more than we think) tell him where you are going and that you will be back to get him..and then leave him in trusted, capable hands.
It's a phase...he will grow out of it...and pretty soon....well, he won't have any trouble leaving you...and that will make you sad in a much different way!
If none of this advice works....pick him up, enjoy the days of his shadow, love on him and be glad there's no other place he'd rather be!
I love you...you're doing a great job!
Sydney went through a phase of clinginess as well. And as I recall, it was around 10-11 months. She would scream when I put her down and began to be very shy around people. I tried not to get too frustrated, but it was difficult since I could get nothing done. I tried several things. I would sit on the floor and play with her and then slip away to unload the dishwasher, etc. and then come right back. I also put her in the playpen for a set time each day and gave her several toys to interact with. I also made a point to have her play with other kids for short playdates. I found that these playtimes helped the most. Leaving her in the church nursery was rough for a little while, but I just sucked it up and left her crying. Within 10 minutes, she was fine. (Yep, I peeked in.) It took a while, but she grew out of the phase around 12 months. Now, she would rather play by herself than have me around, so I kind of miss her wanting mommy! Sam is probably still adapting to you being home everyday also. He's holding onto his mommy and doesn't want to let her go! I agree with Gina, if nothing works, soak up the attention he's giving you for now, cause it will be a different story later on. Believe me, I know. I drop Sydney off at Vee Vee's and she runs down the hall saying, "BYE!!" Kinda makes me sad!
ReplyDeleteThanks to both of you for your advice! I'm definately going to start the play pen first thing Monday! He's fine with everyone else, it's just when I'm around he's goes all crazy clingy. :) Part of me loves it and the other part doesn't want to mess him up socially! Ah...the worries of motherhood! Thanks though! Love you guys!
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