Happy Reformation/Halloween!

This was our first Halloween to actually trick or treat....kinda is a lost art I think. We normally do a Fall Festival at our church, but since we've been working on the FLC we all were ready to do something a little smaller scale this year. So we decided to take our kids trick or treating this year. It was so much fun! Sam has now learned the yummy taste of Nilla Wafers thanks to the wonderful Mrs. Kim and we got lots of yummy treats that Sam won't be ready for this year. :) Isn't that the best part about Halloween???? It was a great weekend, even though Sam's been fighting the allergies/cold this weekend. We had a blast and he just loved being around the other kids. He LOVES being around big kids. He is such a blessing to our lives. Everyday he learns more and more and surprises us all the time! I never knew how much joy he would bring to our lives and how much love I feel for him. Who knew, right?

All in all, great weekend for us. I love my family more than anything in the world.

God Thought #3: Control

The past two Saturdays have been absolutely glorious! They've been filled with family fun-ness! Last Saturday we went to a very small, I'm not sure you can even call it a patch, pumpkin patch. We'll just call it a parking lot full of pumpkins. Nonetheless, it was a great fun trip for our little family. This weekend we spent Friday night at the tree house painting/carving pumpkins. Saturday morning was spent handing out free links and drinks to people in the community and then tonight we went to Vidor for our nephew Seth's birthday party. I'm finding out more and more just how much I enjoy spending time with my family and keeping my priorities straight, not to overload my schedule, and to make time for the fun stuff.

During these little fun activities, my teacher brain wants to provide Sam with all the learning experiences possible, like drawing with sidewalk chalk (which he could care less about), or learning to color (which he is getting the hang of), and this past weekend was painting with a paint brush. I call these learning experiences for Sam, but excercises for me. They are excercises for me to let go of the reins so to speak and to let Sam have fun and enjoy himself. A part of me wanted to make Sam use the paint brush when he wanted, and rather enjoyed it more, to use his fingers to paint the pumpkin. That was a small victory. I could have had a power struggle on my hands. Me, the controlling mother, and Sam the very independant toddler these days. BUT...I let it go. What's the point? Is the point for things to always go my way or for Sam to have fun experiences with his family? Even though that may seem like such a tiny thing for some of you, for me it's a big deal. I am a planner, organizer, list maker, CONTROLLER to a fault. In some cases, these things are great, but most of the time they are not. Why you ask? Well, because the world doesn't revolve around me, that's why! And I need to be okay when things don't go my way...even little things. Just saying that out loud makes me think of a spoiled brat pitching a fit. Not that I ever did throw a fit like a little kid, but in my spirit I will admit a little fit throwing.

God is slowly teaching me through Sam's learning experiences and my excercises in giving up control that it's better when God has His way to begin with. His way is so much better than my manipulated situations anyway.

These are a few of my favorite things...cue music please!

1. fuzzy socks

2. hot cocoa

3. pumpkin bread

4. snuggling under covers

5. the smell of fires in chimneys in our neighborhood (we have several older folks and whenever the first cold snap hits, they are the first to light a fire!) We love them!

6. sweatshirts

7. leaves on the ground

8. my favorite colors everywhere...reds, oranges, yellows

9. cold weather! that should be at #1

10. no mosquitos (at least at our house)!

Life's Greatest Blessings

It doesn't get much greater than this....I'm realizing more and more each day how much I love being with my family more than anything in the world. And this little man steals my heart a little more each day.

God Thoughts #2: Insecurity

So a good friend of mine recommended this book months ago and after Jared saw Beth Moore at Catalyst I asked him to pick up her new book, "So Long, Insecurity. You've been a bad friend to us." Now let me go ahead and get this out in the open. There was no revelation reading this book that went like this: "OMG....I think I'm insecure!" No it definately wasn't like that. I've always known I was insecure. The problem is now I'm realizing the EFFECTS of my insecurity.

You see, many years ago there once was a little girl who hated her nose. When I say hated, I really really mean HATED. So much so that she begged her mother for a nose job in elementary school. Her mother told her over and over how beautiful she was and how beautiful her nose was especially. But the enemy kept whispering in the little girls ear..."She has to say that stuff. She's your mom." Even at such a young age, my insecurity was beginning to creep into my life and grow like a bad case of weeds. Have you ever noticed that? Weeds can be gone one day and the next time you look up there's TONS of them again? Ug...so annoying. Just sayin'.

Through high school, the body images only got worse. It went from my nose, to my weight, and then moved into my grades. Would I even make it through college? Then it became the "freshman fifteen". Which then led to the up and down roller coaster of weight. I've always known that I was insecure about my weight, but I'm now realizing that I'm way more insecure about things and that it's damaging my relationships. Here's what I mean....

1. There are some people in my family that I love soooo dearly. But everytime I'm around them, I get WAY insecure. I want them to think I'm beautiful instead of worrying about what My God and Creator thinks of me.

2. Since becoming a Momma, my insecurities have only blown up! Not only am I insecure about what I look like, but now I'm constantly worried about Sam. Am I the "bad guy"? Does he like me? Am I giving him everything he needs? What if he grows up and hates me? Or worse, what if he hates the Lord? The list goes on and on...before long I'm doubting everything about my mothering skills.

3. Not only am I insecure about myself and my mothering skills, but then I project my insecurities onto Jared. I'm insecure about what people think of him. I want everyone to like him and see the things he does that nobody knows about. I'm insecure for the both of us...and that my friend is not good.

So the Lord has been teaching me that my wreckless, insecure, believing every lie the enemy gives me behavior is not just affecting me. It affects everyone I come in contact with. Not only is He teaching me how to be aware of these lies that Satan feeds me, but I'm also learning how to be more proactive with my thoughts, filling my mind and my heart with the things that honor the Lord. I am by no means a master of insecurity, but I feel like I'm on the right track to recognizing these lies and combatting them with what God thinks of me instead.

After this very conversation with a friend of mine, we were talking about the miracle of life. Molecules have to collide at just the right second for a baby to be conceived. That's a miracle. That means that every life was made possible by a perfect God who had a plan of just the right time for those "molecules to collide". If God is so precise with these precious miracles, then that just goes to show how much he loves them. Us. We were at one time one of those molecules that God made collide at just the right time. Such a divine Creator we worship.

More God thoughts to come,

~Elizabeth

God Thought #1: Time

A lot has been on my mind lately and I feel like there's not enough time to ever process it all. I process through talking to people or talking through blogs. Since life is crazy all the time, this seems to be the best resource for me at the moment. I think I'm going to try and blog about each thing individually so that my mind and heart can sort through each issue solely. Does that make sense? Well anyway, here goes...

For the past few months, or maybe even years, I've struggled with feeling the Lord's presence and hearing Him speak to me. I bought into the lies that the enemy fed me...you know them. Here's how it went for me: "You're a preacher's wife. You don't hear God and you don't feel God. You're just a fake!" And for the longest I believed that, until I started seeking some godly counsel from my wonderful pastor. :) Jared and I talked a lot about putting time into a relationship with God. Even though these were things I had learned so long ago, I felt like I was falling through the same traps over and over. I began to pray HARD. I began to beg and plead with God. I wanted to hear His voice. I wanted to feel His presence. And do you know what happened? NOTHING. Yes, you heard me. NOTHING. At first, I was angry. God, don't you hear me? I'm trying to do the right thing. I don't understand. It must have been months that I prayed to feel God's presence with me, or to hear Him speak to me. BUT....I kept praying and kept seeking. And one day, it was like the flood gates of heaven poured out. And now, I have all these convictions and emotions and things that God is teaching me and dealing with me about. One of them is my time. My time on this earth is so very precious. My time with my family is so very precious. And my time with the Lord is so very precious. What am I spending my time doing? It would be easy to fill up my schedule with things to do...good things mind you. Church things even. But would that necessarily be the best thing for me? Not always. I used to feel like I had to be everywhere and do everything. Now I'm realizing that sometimes, my time is better spent at home with Sam or with just me spending time with the Lord quietly. I realized this first when I had to stay at home with Sam one Sunday morning. He was just getting over being sick and I decided it would be best to keep him home since he had had fever over the weekend. He slept most of the day away and I spent most of the day listening to sermons on tv, praying, and reading my Bible. I told Jared that I wished every Sunday was like that. Not that his sermons aren't amazing, but I was in my pjs drinking coffee with not a care in the world. And God taught me so much that day.

I guess to try and put this lesson into concluding terms...I would say that I'm having to make the conscious effort to be aware of where my time and attention is going. My priorities are God and family then everything else. If I want my life to be all that it can be for God and my family then I have to make sure that I'm putting my efforts there first. Then all else can come.

More God thoughts to come,
~Elizabeth

A friend of mine shared this blog post with me. It's about how people anonymously write how they feel just to get it out. Sometimes I feel like this and I wanted to share. I wanted to share bc I don't want to keep it all inside. I want to be open and transparent with people, so please let me do that. :)


Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs. If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise.
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous. Say hello to anon #3:

I wish you knew how difficult it is to be the wife of a minister. I love that my husband serves with all of himself but at times I would love to be able to tell people, "enough, he is mine and I would like some time with him over dinner when the phone doesn't ring and he is out the door to be with you instead of us."I wish you knew that I just want a friend, someone to talk to honestly that I can trust won't go and tell others, or judge me for not being the "perfect" Christian wife. I wish you knew how hard it is for our family to set boundaries for ourselves to keep God first and next our family, before our service to you. I wish you knew how we have to constantly remind ourselves that we weren't called to please people, but to please God alone. Sorry it upsets you that we aren't having this event, or singing that song but we really do feel like "this" is where God has called us to lead you. I would love to feel comfortable just being me. I don't blame this all on you, I know I need to be accountable only to God and not to who you think I am or should be. I'm reminding you that we are just like you; sinners saved by grace, over and over again. Is it to much to ask of you to remind me of that too? Could you tell me you know how I feel when I can't seem to get my kids to obey and get in the car. The look of disapproval is just to much for me today. I'm not a fan of the way they are acting either but I don't always have the answers either. This may be shocking to you but my husband and I would LOVE for you to invite us over for a beer and smores by your fire pit like you do all of the other couples in the church. He loves the movie The Big Lebowski, I read things other than the Bible, and it would be awesome if we could just feel like normal people when we tell you that. I guess I just wish you knew that I'm just like you. My husband would love to have biscuits and gravy for dinner but I don't care; I hate biscuits and gravy so we aren't having them. Unfortunately I yell at my kids sometimes. I love to sing Hillsong at the top of my lungs. I curse. I am brought to immense emotion when I grasp even a little bit of what grace really is. Sometimes I would love to quit. Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. I love my kids more than I ever thought I could.