Summer recap...so far

Our summer so far has been jam packed with fun.  In fact, this week has really been the first week we haven't had much going on.  By not much, I mean two out of town doctor's appointments, but really it's been a relaxing week.  So here goes our June recap:

Week 1: VBS AND swim lessons...back to back.  Talk about exhausting for all of us!  But Sam had a blast at both and we had a great turn out.  The best part is that 4 kids decided to accept Christ into their life!  Made all the exhaustion worth it for sure!
Week 2: Swim lessons continued...Sam LOVED them.  I think what he liked most was the sucker he would get every day after they were over, but nonetheless we are learning to swim which is the most important part.
Week 3:  My sister and her family came down from Colorado AND Jared was at youth camp.  So I spent the week at my mom's hanging out with them and getting to 1. love on my nephew and 2. get pampered by my sister.  We had a blast and I'm so looking forward to the next visit. :)
Week 4 (currently):  Monday Nate went for his 9 month check up (even though he turned 10 months on the 26th...).  He's doing great...pulling up on everything and cruising/climbing on everything!  He's way more rambunctious than Sam was at this age, but I guess he's got a big brother to look up to!  Today I had a check up with my RA doctor.  He decided to put me on some meds that should help with my flare ups.  Only thing is they're shots I have to give to myself once a week!  Yikes!!! I'm a little nervous about that, but it's the best thing for us since we're not ready to be done with our little family just yet. ;)

So...that's been our fun filled summer so far.... We're planning a little family vacation to the Houston/Galveston area in July and I can't tell you how excited I am about that!  I'm ready to get away just the four of us for some fun family time.

Now that our crazy June-ness is over, I've got lots of crafts I'm planning on working on too.  Some for school, some for the house, and some for Christmas...already!  I've got to get my craftiness going during the summer when I actually have time and energy bc once August hits...exhaustion sets back in again! :)

Hope you guys are all enjoying your summers...if anyone out here is still following me after so long!  Sorry...

Child Like Faith

  "Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."

The Lord reminded me of this truth in such a neat conversation the other day.  While driving to church, Sam and I had our usual conversation about the things we saw on the way there. "Did you see those cows?  What are they doing?  Who made those cows?" etc.  We started talking about the trees and how God made it rain that day so that the trees and grass and flowers would grow.  I told him that trees needed the sun and water to grow.  His simple reply was "Oh.  Okay."  

That was it.  There was not a hint of hesitation in his breath.  In his mind trees will always need water and sun not because a book told him but because his momma told him. If I said trees need candy to grow...he would have believed me.

This has been the case with several lessons so far.  I've talked about something and Sam has replied "Oh. Okay."  Never once does he ever say, "I don't think so, momma." or "Are you sure about that?" He believes with his entire heart, his whole being.


These recent conversations have reminded me of two things:
1.  That's how I'm supposed to trust God.  With total, complete, unwavering, unquestioned faith.  Because I know God loves me (like Sam knows we love him) and he wants the best for me, I can trust, without fear, that what God says is Truth.  Even if it doesn't make sense or it seems crazy, I should be able to say, "Oh. Okay, God."  I love how God is already using Sam to teach me more about Him.


2.  There is a huge responsibility that comes with this truth.  Because Sam trusts us with reckless abandonment, it's our job as parents to show him The Way.  I can't let someone do that for me.  I can't rely on his Sunday School teachers or a Christian dvd.  It's got to be us leading him in the right direction, because through his little eyes we're always going to lead him the right way.  We're momma and daddy.  And right now momma and daddy know best.  I know he won't always feel this way, but I'm praying that we'll continue to lead both our boys in the ways of the Lord.


I'm so thankful for moments like these where God completely speaks truth to me through one of my boys.  It's so amazing to think that as much as I love them...and I wish there were a bigger word than LOVE....God loves me WAY more than that!  And it's not just me.  It's you, too!

Update through pictures

 This kid is all boy!  He loves playing with planes, cars, trucks, and DIRT!  He's so imaginative and loves telling elaborate stories.  He's very interested in where airplanes live and is absolutely fascinated with them!

You also never know what you're going to get... Usually if a sentence begins with "Hey, you know what?" you're in for a giggle or two.  Some of my favorites recently have been

"Hey, you know what..."

God made the grass grow.

Jesus not on the cross.  He's in heaven with God.  Me in heaven too.

Those are the same match! (which means same color)

Airplanes live in the airport.

We took this picture on the train ride at the Lufkin Zoo (one of the highlights of our Spring Break)

I love this kid to pieces!  Every day he's learning something new, but he's very shy about it.  He doesn't like being put on the spot (like his momma), but I'll catch him saying something and it will blow my mind.  For the longest I thought he must be color blind because I would ask him what color something was and he would just say "I don't know".  Then out of nowhere he starts telling me all these colors.  He even told me Nate's newest mosquito bite was the same match (same color) as his bath crayon!  :)  Such a funny kid...and so much like his momma and his daddy in so many different ways!

 Nate is growing so fast and it seems like everyday he's learning something new too!  He's finally got teeth so we're all happier for that! He also got tubes put in his ears today so we're hoping that will help with his runny nose/chronic yuckiness too. He started holding his own bottle and starting to crawl!  It's so funny how he's more like his daddy and Sam is more like me.  Nate is definitely our laid back baby!

 This picture makes me giggle...they sure do love each other.  We took this at the zoo and the expression on Nate's face says it all.

 Checking out something gross I'm sure...

 The only matching shirt they own....I HAD to get a matching shirt picture, right????

I get this look a lot from him....It's like he's saying "Oh Mom...you're so silly"

 Such a happy baby...he will just sit around and watch Sam act crazy.  I mean who doesn't enjoy that hilarity?

 Big brother "helping" Nate crawl to his toys

 Again, with that handsome little look :)

Finally getting into gear!  Nate is fully "scooting" I guess you could say.  He will get up on all fours then lunge himself forward.  Repeat process until he reaches desired location.  It works for him and he's now all over the place.  When we leave him, he's somewhere else when we come back.

Nate- 5 months

I'm not even going to apologize this month for my lack of posting.  I'll just be honest and real with the few of you who actually read this thing anymore...I will post whenever I don't have school. :)  So pretty much stay tuned over Spring Break, Easter, Summer, & Christmas Break.  I can't believe Nate is almost 6 months!  I had to hurry up and do this post before it's time to turn around and do another one!  My how time sure flies.

Here's what this little man has been up to:

Wearing 6-9 month clothes
Size 3,sometimes 4, shoes (holy cow, I know!)
Size 3 diapers
Drooling like crazy, but still no teeth!
Sitting up with a boppy so Momma doesn't worry
Sleeping wonderfully until 7 am (unless he's sick)
Getting lots of sicknesses from brother
Scooting and/or rolling over and over to get places
Laughing out loud (it's the cutest thing)
Starting to have some favorite toys
Sucking on his thumb AND a blanket
Loving everyone!  Always smiles for family, friends, neighbors, whoever!  :)

Here's what this big boy has been up to:

Outgrowing all of his 2T clothes
Size 9 shoes
NO pull ups anymore (except at night)!!!! Can I get an AMEN!?!
All about being a big boy!  Nate is a baby, but he is a big boy
Such a helper! Everything is "Sure!"
A little ham like his Daddy...
Favorite sayings:
"Awesome!" (with two thumbs up of course)
"Sure!" (when asked to do something)
"Oh, sorry sorry" (you must repeat it twice)
"I'll be a good boy" (if he's gotten in trouble)
"I do it by myself, Momma" (makes me sad every time)
"I wanna read my Bible" (favorite stories are usually about Paul or Jacob & Rachel)
Loving preschool and learning so much!  He enjoys his friends and his teachers.  I'm always amazed at what he says.
Loves, loves, loves going to church and seeing Mrs. Kim and all his other church friends.  He's already learned where the candy is kept...those preacher's kids I tell ya.
Favorite books: His Bible, Goodnight You, Goodnight Moon, & still Five Silly Monkeys


Who would have thought my life would have been this crazy fun with these two little guys?  I'm so thankful that God has given me such an amazing blessing.  Jared is one heck of a guy and we get to live this life together raising these boys to love Jesus.  It's not easy, but I sure feel blessed to do it.

Nate- 4 months

I feel really bad that it's taken me this long to post!  Nate turned four months on the 26th of December and is closer to five months at this point!  Oh well...better late than never.

At 4 months...
Nate is in full teething mode...and WAS sleeping through the night, but not anymore. :(
Wearing size 3 diapers, size 3 shoes, and size 3-6 months clothes
Loving his oatmeal and baby food.  Not crazy about peas, but really who is???
Rolling over, scooting, and starting to sit up by himself though he prefers just rolling over onto his tummy.
Getting better about tummy time, but enjoys being in the exercauser  more
LOVES watching his brother do everything.  He just watches and grins.
Such a happy baby...always smiling.
Cutting teeth pretty bad so he's always got his fingers in his mouth...even more than normal.

Sam at 29 months...
LOVES talking and playing with his brother...his favorite things to say are: "Hey, Nate!" and "Here ya go!"
Know his name, momma's name, daddy's name, brother's name, what city he lives in, and the cities of all his grandparents, his birthday, what momma does (teacher), where momma works, what daddy does (preacher), and where daddy works.
Imagination is unbelievable right now...tonight we were playing outside and he was mixing up sticks and water in the fire pit and said he was making squirrel stew.  Then he chased all the squirrels yelling out them to eat his soup.
Loves reading his Bible stories every night.  He's a creature of habit just like his momma.  But he remembers everything from the stories we read so far, that kid NEVER forgets anything.
Favorite sayings: "Aw man!", "Um, I'm thinking...", and "Where?"  Most kids always ask why, nope not my kid.  He always asks "where?"
Loves going to church seeing his friends.

Lessons learned along the way

Let me just say this first...I love being a mommy.  I do.  It's the most rewarding experience ever, and I'm incredibly thankful that God has given us TWO amazing blessings.

BUT....since having children my insecurity level has skyrocketed!  Before I used to be insecure about my body or my hair or something like that, but nothing makes you more insecure than other mommies who have kids the same age as your own kids.  Why is that?  You hear it all the time that every kid is different and that they learn at their own pace, but why is it when your kid seems to be the one behind you freak out inside.  Am I doing enough?  I'm not spending enough time with them.  I should provide some crafty activity to help my child learn his stinking colors, right?  Why can't he get them...we've been doing colors for FOREVER!!!! And he's 28 months and still not using the potty.  Other kids are already totally potty trained. It must be because I work full time and have a crazy life.  We're never home, maybe that's it.  Okay, that's it!  I'm quitting my job and losing all socialization so that my child will finally learn his colors and pee in that stupid potty!!!!  (Obviously an exaggeration though I will admit to thinking these things)  And don't get me started on the second one.  I'm determined that he will have just as many pictures as Sam and he will be read to and talked to just as much as Sam did...even though I'm running ragged doing potty training business.  And the thoughts go on and on and on.


I know that people blog and post about their children because they're proud of their achievements.  I've even done that a time or two.  But sometimes I feel like it's just a mommy competition.  Almost like a prize that you're a great mom and that you can get your kid to read by age 2 because you're awesome and I'm not.  I'm human.  I'm exhausted.  I teach other people's children all day and when I come home, I want to love on my boys not be teacher to them, too.  Is that wrong?  Maybe.  I don't know.  I love teaching Sam...I just don't want to feel like I'm constantly quizzing and teaching him to make sure he's ABOVE where he needs to be because so and so's kid can do this. 

I'm being brutally honest, because that's how I feel.  There are days when I feel like a great mom.  Sam will say something or do something that is so sweet.  His prayers are about the sweetest things ever. And Nate is already doing things before Sam did, which makes me super proud that he's getting challenged even with a crazy brother running around keeping us busy. But then, I read someone's blog.  Their baby is potty trained and reading paragraphs.  Their 4 month old is already sitting up by themselves.  Maybe I should just blog and refuse to read others blogs, facebook, etc.

Is it just me or is this a "normal" mom struggle???  I'm praying DAILY that God would make me secure in HIM.  Not in my uncool hairstyle or my son who refuses to potty in the awesome potty chair we have for him or my 4 month old whose not sitting up yet or my awesome husband who is doing all our holiday baking while I recuperate from a bum toe.  I've always struggled with being insecure...since childhood.  I thought this would get better but apparently the struggles of a child (if not dealt with) only turn into the struggles of an adult.  And adult sized struggles can really get to you.


So here's to this momma becoming a less media involved, others focused momma and becoming a more God focused, family focused momma.  :)

You'll wake up one day and....

People used to tell me all the time when I was pregnant, "You'll wake up one day and you'll think you've grown over night." (FYI...totally true)  Or after I had Sam they said, "You'll wake up one day and all of a sudden they're grown."  Today that moment happened for me with Sam.  I've always known that time has and will fly by, but it seems like more and more each day the days are going by faster.  Yesterday I was making Sam a pb&j (his favorite) and I asked him to sit on his bottom at the table.  We don't have a booster seat anymore for him and he LOVES being able to climb onto the chair himself.  So I told him to sit down and he just looked at me and said why?  He's NEVER even muttered the word before.  All of a sudden, I realized we were entering a new territory.  So I explained to him that if he didn't sit on his bottom he might fall and hurt himself.  To which he then told me he would cry!  Later that day I was sitting with Nate in my lap and Sam wanted to climb up.  So here I was sitting with BOTH boys in my lap and all of a sudden Nate's little hand touched Sam's arm.  I thought it was so sweet and before I could soak in the moment Sam looked at Nate, removed his hand, and said "No Nate.  Stop."  Where did that come from?  All of a sudden, my little toddler is growing into a little boy and my baby is quickly rolling and scooting into a bigger baby. :(  People told me that with each child you have the time flies by faster.  I'm really starting to believe them!  I'm missing my boys so much right now!  I had planned on hanging out with them over the break but I had to have a minor procedure done to my toe and haven't been able to walk around much.  My mom kept the boys over the weekend and I thought that would be long enough for me to heal, but it wasn't.  So now my sister in law kept them today and my mother in law will keep them tomorrow.  Hopefully that will be long enough for me to get somewhat back to normal.  I miss them so bad!  I'm so thankful that they are both sweet, happy boys.  And I'm so thankful that we haven't had to do a spanking or time out on Sam in I can't remember how long!  Yay!  I'm thanking Jesus for that everyday!  Speaking of thanking Jesus, that's another thing Sam has started doing.  He thanks Jesus at meals and He prays at night now.  Kinda makes me sad, but proud at the same time.  It's always interesting to see who he thanks God for each night.  Nate has started rolling over now (way before Sam did) and it's funny to see him immediately roll over as soon as he lays on his back.  He even rolls over in bed when we put him on his wedge!  He has also started scooting.  I can leave the room and when I come back he's rolled over and scooted somewhere else! The first time he rolled over I was so excited and I ran to Sam and said, "Look!  Nate rolled over!"  Sam just walked over to him and rolled him back onto his back!  I laughed so hard!  Nate is such a happy baby!  He loves to talk and squeal with delight.  Most mornings that's how he wakes us up and talking or rather yelling.  He is such a blessing to this family and I already can't imagine what our little family would be like without him.  I'm extremely blessed by my God and need to stop and thank Him more for what He does for me.  I'm praying that sometime during this busy season you would stop and thank God for what He's done for you.  He's blessed each and every one of us so much.

Nate- 3 months

I seriously can't believe how fast time flies...and the fact that my only post was last month!  Things get a little crazy when Momma is working and being a mommy.  Blogs just don't get time anymore, but I wanted to make sure I made the effort to blog on Nate's 3 month birthday!  So here goes...

At 3 months:
*Nate is "usually" sleeping through the night.  Both boys have been sick with colds and having to do breathing treatments, but before then and today (starting to feel better), Nate sleeps until 7.
*Wearing 3 month clothes and some 3-6 month clothes.  Size 2 diapers & size 2-3 shoes (big foot like his daddy!)
*Still mellow, but you prefer sitting up to see everyone
*Such a smiley, happy baby
*LOVES his brother so much and smiles at him constantly
*Still doesn't care for tummy time but enjoys sitting up in the Bumbo seat
*Trying to roll over but not even close yet!
*"Talking" & squeeling so much!

At 27 months Sam is:
* Talking in complete sentences (sometimes referring to himself as I or in third person: "I would like apple juice" or "Sambo fall down"...either way so cute)
* Appetite is almost non existent these days
* Loves to do anything with his hands...play with trucks, airplanes, blocks, puzzles, and the newest fascination is with tools.
*Wearing 2T (now they're all too big again)
* Potty training is slow, but we're planning on hitting that hard over Christmas break (hopefully)
* Knows all his shapes, learning his letters, counts up to 20 (though he gets them mixed up after 13), and still working on colors. :)
*Is in a fun, imagination stage...loves to pretend he's a dinosaur stomping around the house!

I could not imagine such a fun life with these two boys if I tried.  I'm so extremely blessed, and even on the toughest of days, I know that I have more than a lot of people.  Who knew that two little boys could steal this Momma's heart so quickly????

Nate- 2 months

Holy cow...I can't believe Nate is already 2 months old!  I've started back at work this week so life has been super crazy!  No pictures yet bc I'm still trying to get that sweet smile on camera!  He's so quick with his smiles...Here's the lowdown on what's going on with that boy this month:

~  Eating every 4 hours
~ Wearing size 2 diapers
~ Wearing 0-3 months clothes, some 3 months, and size 2 shoes!
~  ALMOST sleeping through the night...he usually wakes up once at an odd time (like 2) then up in the morning, but right back to sleep...(thank you Lord)
~ Pretty mellow except when his tummy aches
~  Happiest in the morning (that's when we usually catch his little coos and giggles)
~ LOVES the changing pad.  He can be going totally crazy with a meltdown and calm down completely when we lay him on there.  Crazy I know.
~ Starting to reach and grab at hanging things.
~ Still falling asleep during tummy time. :)  Must be comfy.

Sam is totally loving his baby brother.  Every night we go through thanking God for our family during our night time prayers.  We thank God for daddy and momma and he always says "Nate!" and I always say "And Sambo!"  He's also totally loving preschool.  He's learning so much and talking so much too!  We're working on potty training (which I hate) and working through temper tantrums and what you CAN NOT do when you're mad (I also hate), but I use the same talk with Sam as I do with some of my fourth graders!  LOL 


I'll post more pictures when I can...right now life is a crazy mess.  Laundry is piled up.  I haven't worked out. And I've got lesson plans to write.  Ah!  Hopefully I won't let my exhaustion get the best of me.

My mall revelation...

Today, Nate and I went for my 6 week checkup...can you believe it's already been 6 weeks??? I know..crazy, right? After my appointment, we ran to the mall to take back a shirt that Jared had bought for Sam (Texans of course). Below is the thought process that I encountered while I pushed a stroller/ate in complete silence in the food court:

1. Wet Seal? Is that store still open? I don't think that store will ever be in my "body type" anymore. Is that a mom pushing her stroller in there? Dang it...I'm jealous she can still shop there. Will I ever be able to wear non stretchy clothes again? Do I want to? No...not really.

2. What are all of these kids doing out of school? Is this normally what the mall looks like on a weekday? Good grief....someone should talk to their mommas.

3. I wonder if The Children's Place is having a sale? Sam really needs some winter clothes... and a winter coat for when it eventually gets cold...and some nicer shirts to wear to church. Is this what it's like being a parent? Never shopping for yourself? Well if it is...that's okay. I'm in sweat pants most of the time anyways.

4. Victoria's Secret....you girls make me sick! Even though you have your little flat tummies, I have stretch marks and two beautiful boys to show for it...so stick it! Was that unchristian of me? Probably so...but there has to be a positive outlook on my body that has not returned to normal yet. It happened so fast with Sam. Why is it taking forever to return to normal this time??? Ug..so annoying.

5. Am I officially a grown up? This feels pretty grown up. I'm not enjoying the stores, the amounts of people, oh but did I mention how I enjoyed eating by myself? Well not technically by myself. I ate with Nate. But he was a silent partner. And it was bliss.

Yeah...I'm thinking I've entered into some new strange territory. It's called parenthood. It's weird. I'm not sure where I fit in...certainly in the clothing department. Hmm...just some random thoughts that revealed a lot more to me than probably you.

Things I love about the "terrible twos"

In light of the "terrible twos" making the debut in our house...I've decided to focus on some things that I'm definitely loving about the stage that Sam is in right now. So...in no particular order, here are some things I just LOVE about our boy right now:

1. I love the way he sings songs like, "YES! Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me soap." or "That's Elmo's WOOOORRRRLLLLDDDDD!"

2. I love how Sam repeats EVERYTHING we say like, "Oh snap!" or "Big fat fail!" (guess who said that?!?) or "Where is it?"

3. I love how Sam is becoming a creature of habit...wait is that a good thing???? Yes it is. He knows every night that we read a bed time story and then a Bible story. However, he absolutely loves to read about "the giant". In fact, after we read a new Bible story he quickly flips through his Bible looking for the giant. :)

4. I love how Sam is so independent. At first, I was upset that I've already given him some negative traits like being independent or hard headed or obsessive. But I've since realized that his independence is teaching him a lot...and he's not afraid to ask for help after trying it on his own first (which makes me super proud).

5. I love to listen to Sam talk to himself about things that we've talked about. For example, the first time we did a puzzle together I would say "Is that where the cow goes? No! That's a pig!" Now, every time he does a puzzle by himself I hear him talking to himself the same way.

6. I love Sam's imagination. He really enjoys playing with trucks and blocks. Jared teaches him how to build things with his blocks and now he's always trying to build different things out of his blocks. He also likes to imagine his stuffed animals doing things, too...like Elmo and Cookie Monster sleeping.

7. I love how Sam is already a great big brother. He absolutely adores Nate. The first thing he does in the morning and the last thing he does at night (and all the time in between) is kiss and hug Nate. He loves to put the lid on the bottle and throw it in the sink for me. And he loves to let me know what Nate's up to. "Nate hungry" or "Nate talking" or "Nate sleeping". But my favorite is, "I kiss Nate" or "I hug Nate". SO STINKIN' SWEET.


So even though the terrible twos are here in full swing, there are lots of fun times in our house. It's so neat to see Sam learning and growing every day. I'm so incredibly thankful for both our boys and pray every day that they would learn to obey the Lord and love Him with all their hearts. What an amazing journey we are on...this parenting business. Crazy good, right?

A Change of Perspective

1. I love my husband. He is insightful and encouraging and a wonderful provider for our family.

2. I've been in a funk lately. Since coming home from the hospital, the thought of going back to work has literally made me sick to my stomach. I can't even think about it without bursting into tears. This happened with Sam too, but I remember the closer it got to my return to work the more excited I got. Not so this go round folks. Not so. This week we sat down to really look at the option of me not going back to work...and it just can't work. We would be in the negative before we even accounted for gas and groceries. Upon hearing these cold hard facts, I again burst into tears. You see...this time I know how fast time goes. Sam is already in preschool and I love picking him up everyday. I love our little predictable routine with school, lunch, snacks, puzzles, etc. I love everything about my days...even the dirty diapers and throw up. And to think that I'm going to miss it all in just three short weeks is devastating.

But my wonderful husband helped me to put things into perspective last night. Instead of looking at it like I "have to" work, it's more like I'm helping support our family. We do a lot of fun things, and if I didn't work those things wouldn't be possible. I love having family pictures taken by an amazing photographer friend, we like taking mini-trips over spring break with the kiddos, I enjoy being able to buy birthday presents for friends, and even though I don't enjoy running out of propane (which happens every winter) or having to repair the lawn mower, those things happen and if I didn't work those things would have to be charged.

Something else Jared reminded me of was not just what my income helps to provide for our family but for others. We have a Compassion child that we support, we like to give to different ministries in and around the area, and when a need arises we like to be able to help when we can. Those things aren't possible if I didn't work.

So here's to a new perspective. I'm thankful for a wonderful husband who reminds me of the positive things that can come out of things that seem sad to me. I don't know if things will always be like this...I certainly feel God's calling for me to stay at home, but for now it's not in the cards. Hopefully it will be, but for now...I'm okay with it.

Nate- 1 month old update

I can't believe it's already been a month since Nate came into this world! What a blessing he is to our family already. He's such an easy going baby and I pray that he would always stay my "little mellow fellow".

At one month Nate is:
~ Eating every four hours during the day
~Wearing size 1 diapers, size 0-3 months clothes (some newborn depending on the brand), and size 1 shoes
~ Starting to sleep longer during the night. Usually wakes up at 3:00 for a bottle then up again at 7:00.
~Starting to stay awake a little bit longer these days. Usually stays awake for an hour and a half after his breakfast bottle. Then awake for a long time in the evening.
~ Finding his hands to suck on and will occasionally take a paci.
~ Not caring for tummy time much, but holding his head up and looking around for short time periods.
~ Such a happy boy...only cries when he's hungry. Otherwise, he just looks around and watches what's going on.
~ Is already becoming a tough guy. Brother "loves" on him and is kinda rough at times but that doesn't bother him one bit.
~ Quite the "talker". Always making noises of some kind. Always happy ones, but just cooing or grunting. So cute!

You are God Alone

This song has gotten me through a lot of hard times. Isn't it crazy how listening to something can bring so much comfort in our times of trouble? I remember listening to this song over and over in my car everyday on my way home from work during the time that my father-in-law was staying with us on hospice. I would cry and pray and ask God all the hard questions before I got home and faced what would be there. I remember getting pregnant just two months after he passed away, and questioning why we couldn't have gotten pregnant earlier so that Joe would've seen our baby and this song comforted me then. And when we had a surprise pregnancy and lost the baby...this song got me through then too. And just this week, this song got me through another hard time in my life...watching my Granny pass away. There are things that I will never understand...like death. I understand it has to happen (cue "Circle of Life" music) but I just don't understand the cruelty of it all. Why do people have to suffer? Why does my Paw Paw (who was married to my Granny for 58 years) have to feel such grief? Why can't we all just die when we're supposed to in our sleep the night before? No pain. No suffering. No putting your family through the sadness of watching you slowly slip away. When I hear this song though...it puts things into perspective for me. It reminds me that, even though I am no where even close to having all the answers, God knows what's best. He has my life, and all of His children, in the palm of His hands. There is nothing that can happen to me that God can't handle. Even though I can't handle it. Even though I want to be in control. Even though I want all the answers. God's got this. And in the difficult seasons of my life, I need reminding of this. Big.Time. Even in the little, daily stresses of life when the boys are crying at the same time, when there are temper tantrums, when there are bills, when I don't want to go back to work God's.got.it.all.figured.out. I just need to trust HIM. If you haven't heard this song, take a few minutes to sit and listen. I pray that it would refresh your soul like it does mine....every single time.

Momma's gone!

My mom left today to go home. :( Now it's just me and Jared. I'm quite scared if I must confess. Jared keeps reminding me that we did this for a week before she got here, but he was home and I was pretty much incompetent. I couldn't sit up by myself and I could barely walk. Now Jared's gone back to work and I can get up by myself but the walking is still not back to normal. I'm ready to be able to do things like go walking, but it just is harder this go round. So the fact that I'll have two boys to watch by myself scares the living daylights out of me. Do people do this all the time? Yes. Do other people survive? Yes. But I'm still scared. Sam is pushing the limits BIG time. He does enjoy being the big brother helper and he LOVES Nate. He is always hugging and kissing him. But...he has his moments. I feel like I have to do the "1, 2, 3" business more times than I want to in a day. I feel like we're in this constant state of time outs. Although when my mom had to put him in timeout today I thought he was going to die! We're trying to potty train, too...which is not going so great either. I feel like there's just a lot of changing and adjusting still going on and I'm ready to feel "normal" (whatever that may be) again.



So here's to starting the week as a mommy of two boys...by herself. When you think of me or my husband or our sweet children...please say a prayer. I will survive, I know. But I'm just a little scared so far.

L-O-V-E

Nathan Daniel Hollier- August 26, 2011 7:41 am

I John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us."


Confession Time. Before we had Nate I was really scared about one thing. What if I didn't have enough love to go around? That sounds silly, right? I mean, millions of people have more than one child and they don't seem to have trouble with loving each child enough, right? It's impossible to know exactly how you'll feel BEFORE you meet your little angel (boy or girl), but afterwards is when the amazing thing takes place. When you have one child it's overwhelming how much love fills you and just how quickly. I instantly fell in love with Sam and that love has only grown with time. It's been the three of us for so long...what if there wasn't enough love to go around? Would I have to split my love in half? So many questions I just didn't have the answers to...until I first laid eyes on Nate. Immediately, I fell in love all over again. And I didn't have less love for Sam. I just had the same overwhelming love for another little boy. That kind of love...overwhelming, consuming, make you weep, love only comes from the Lord. There is nothing in me that is good enough or holy enough to have that kind of love. What I have to offer only comes from the love I've first received from the Lord. On my own, I've got nothing. But because of the Lord's great love, I'm able to love. And that is amazing. God is so good to allow us to take part in such a wonderful experience. He doesn't have to let us experience all of this goodness...but He does. And for that, I'm truly overwhelmingly grateful.

~Elizabeth

It's the little things in life...

I couldn't get these pictures in order, but please allow me to share in the sweetness of my two year old. One hormonal evening this week I was feeling down because I still wasn't feeling good. I'm just ready to be able to pick up Sam and cuddle with him instead of having him sit beside me. So...what does my sweet boy do during my pity party? He grabs the camera of course! Notice the progression of his smile after each picture...every time I go through these I can't help but laugh. He does get his cheesiness from his Momma, I must admit. :)

Photo #2...this is funny taking pictures and looking back at them!

Photo #1... just hanging out

Photo #3...I have birthed a cheese ball...but I love him so much!

Sam & Nate

Here's Sam getting to hold Nate for the first time. He was very interested, though a little distracted with Elmo on the TV.

Ramblings from a new mommy of 2

WARNING: The days after giving birth are filled with a whirlwind of emotions combined with hormones and lack of sleep. So the ramblings below will only testify to the fact that I may seem a little crazy right now. Believe me....I know. I can't even speak to my husband without sobbing. My poor two year old just stares at me and says "hey momma!" in the biggest grin. That can cure any hormonal meltdown.



Let me say this...I "thought" I knew what it would be like bringing Nate home. Jared and I had talked for months now about how excited we were to meet Nate and to see him grow and play with Sam. We even told ourselves to expect him to be different from Sam...you know every kid is different from their sibling. They all have their own little personalities and we were so excited to find out what Nate's little personality was going to be like. That being said, let's rewind to two years ago almost to the day. We brought Sam home and just like in the hospital he woke to feed faithfully every 4 hours. Yes. I'm serious. Every 4 hours. For those of you who don't know...that's amazing. We were able to get 4 hour stretches of sleep. People told me to "sleep when the baby sleeps" and things like that but I honestly never did. I felt rested and thought to myself...I can do this. I loved loved loved being at home with him and it was the hardest thing to go back to school. That being said, let's fast forward two years to present day. We brought Nate home and he woke up every 2 hours to feed. Every 2 hours! Sometimes he could make it to 2 1/2 but most of the time it was a stretch to make it to 2. So needless to say, Jared and I were both exhausted out of our minds. I had been put on bed rest about a week and a half before so Jared had literally been doing everything around the house. While in the hospital, it was a harder recovery than with Sam. I felt like I had a heavier dose of the spinal epidural and it took me forever to regain feeling in my legs. It also meant that I had uncontrollable itching (which I had with Sam but not near as bad), which they in turn gave me medicine for, which in turn made me sleepy, which in turn made me feel like a zombie. The recovery process is still a long process. I'm still not able to sit up on my own, which makes for getting out of bed very difficult. I say all of this because everything this go round has been DIFFERENT. If you know me at all, you know one thing. I like stability. I like constant. I do not like CHANGE. I had thought I had prepared myself for another little baby. I thought I was ready. Boy, was I wrong. Nothing can prepare you for a baby. Whether it's one or more than one.


As I was sitting in the recliner yesterday morning, it hit me. There are literally millions of people who would give anything to feel what I'm feeling. Even though I'm overwhelmed and scared and nervous and all of those new mommy feelings all over again. I sat there and just prayed. Prayed over my boys that they would be blessed with a long life and that I would be blessed to be around for it all. I don't know if other people think this way, but I have the most awful fears of dying before I get to see my children grow up or even worse that they die before that time comes. I can't even begin to think about that without mentally and emotionally freaking out and falling on my knees in prayer. So even though things are different and it will take a while to get adjusted, I'm so thankful for the blessing that God has given us. Nate is such a sweet boy already. He's going to be tough because his big brother is already ready to wrestle with him. I pray more than anything, that he would love and serve the Lord and that he would live a life worthy of God's calling. Anything beyond that is just extra blessings from God.



So there you have it...some jumbled up thoughts going through my head. Please don't think that I'm complaining because I'm not. Blogging for me is an outlet. It's a tool that God uses to reveal things about myself and Himself. Putting things out there in cyber world and even just typing them helps me realize more about myself (good & bad) than most other things so please be understanding of that.


Hopefully the next post will be more coherent and clear. But for now...this is what we get.

~Elizabeth

Nathan Daniel Hollier

Daddy & Nate getting some visiting in early Saturday morning.

Our sweet Nathan Daniel Hollier

A much more rested Momma getting some loving on her new baby boy!




Our newest little man came into the world on Friday, August 26, 2011 at 7:41 am weighing 9 lbs 8 oz and measuring 20 inches. We are so blessed to have another happy and healthy baby boy. Big brother Sam still doesn't know what to think just yet, but I feel like once we get home and get into the groove of things he'll start to get the hang of it all. He loves Nate, but is having a hard time being "easy" with him. I know he'll be a great big brother and that fun times are in store for our new growing family. Nate is doing great. He's eating every three hours and handling transitioning to his new world like a champ. Jared is also doing great. Bless his heart...he's exhausted just like me, but he's been amazing. Through bed rest and helping me recover through my second c-section, I couldn't be more thankful for him. He's such an amazing helper. I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was rough as far as pain goes, but today I'm feeling better. Medicine is working, my body is starting to heal, and I'm getting a decent amount of rest (which can cure a whole lot of everything). I can't promise how often I'll be blogging for a while...things tend to get a little crazy with a newborn, but I'll keep you guys posted when I can!

~The Holliers~
Family of Four